Undiscovered touching fairies

We got a frantic email from the cruise agent during our last night in Sapa informing us that the "junk" (the traditional Vietnamese cruiser) we were booked on for the next leg of the trip was due for a whitening. Apparently a law was passed a few days ago requiring all the junk in Halong Bay to be white. She put us on a new junk and suggested we meet her at a cafe the morning of, and bring the total in cash. (Side note: Vietnamese currency is about 20,000 dong to one American dollar, so often you're dealing with millions. This makes for some complicated math and scary looking bills.) We started to feel like this might be a scam (there are rumors cruise companies will scam you here) so when the cruise gal met us at a 24 hour coffee shop and asked for our zillions of dong, I was skeptical. She took the stack of cash and headed out the door to "call for the van" while we were to stay in the cafe. But after clutching my valuables all night on an overnight train and then downing a Vietnamese coffee, I was wired and NOT in the mood to be messed with. I was on that chick like coconut milk on sticky rice. I followed her to her boyfriend's motorbike, fuming, and assessing my favorable odds, as this was probably the only time I'd ever have a size advantage in a fight. Her bf gave her his cell phone (while I was awkwardly breathing down both their necks) and she made a few calls in Vietnamese (to whatever scumbag she was working for, I assumed). "The bus is coming," she said, "you wait here." I'm skeptical. "You're going to wait with us," (biatch)! And she did. And sure enough, ten minutes later the driver showed up to escort us to the cruise van. That's right. Don't eff with us.

Anyhow, the reason I'm telling you this is because the discovering and touching of fairies that were promised by the old junk were not included in the new package, so we will never know what magic we missed.

However, we did have a marvelous time on the new junk! Our seven cruise companions included a French cognac vineyard heir, an Indian restaurateur, a Russian model, a German doctor and his wife, and our new favorite travel couple, Lina and Bob. (They've been traveling the world for seven months!) Obviously this is the setup for a modern Gilligan-esque sitcom.

 

I cannot describe to you how incredible Halong Bay is. It's one of the seven natural wonders of the world, and looks other-worldly, like something from Lord of the Rings.

 

Our first excursion was to Amazing Cave, or as they say in Vietnamese, "Amaaaasing Caf." The cave is spectacular, and humongous. According to our guide, there are many reasons this cave is amaaaasing.

 

1. There is a stalagtite that sparkles mysteriously. Fairies? Perhaps. Amaaaaasing.

2. It has a large stalagmite shaped like junk. (And not the boat kind.) Amaaaaasing.

3. There is rock that slightly resembles a turtle. Amaaaaasing.

4. The guide suggested that the three of us pray to a heart-shaped hole so we would get boyfriends. It is amaaaasing that his junk is still in tact.

 

(Sunset from our parking spot in Halong Bay.)

The next day, we took a mini junk to a different part of the bay where we kayaked among the rocks. I withstood a slight injury from a run in with a reef, but the kind German doctor seems to think I'll survive after an application of his anticeptiche wundecreme.

 

This morning we kayaked through a small cave hole that opened into a gorgeous enclosed lagoon where all the rock climbing monkeys hang out. Bums.

 

Now we're back in Hanoi for Brenna's last night of the trip, and tomorrow Verna and I head south to Hoi An, where we're going to spend the rest of our dong doubling the size of our wardrobes at custom tailor shops.